Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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