someone get that fucking seahorse.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
