In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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