ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
