I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
