yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
