im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
