I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
