Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
