Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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