Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
