Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize