Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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