You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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