You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize