I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
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