I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
