You work out of a Hotel?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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