Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
