chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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