i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
