I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
