there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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