Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
