At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
