the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
