he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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