Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
