Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize