I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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