sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
