My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
