I accidentally had phone sex last night
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
