Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
