She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
