peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
