So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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