I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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