A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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