Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
