I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
im on a boat
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