Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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