I faked an abortion last night.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
