I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just found a bag of teeth...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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