well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
