Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
