WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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