I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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