Christians are straight up FREAKS
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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