Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
