You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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