No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize