I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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