I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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