I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
