love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
