sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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