MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize