Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
