I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
